Its been a long fucking time.
But this time, something really fucking serious has changed.
A couple days ago, I ran away from home. I left for a night and a day. When I returned home, I told the truth. I broke down in tears in front of my mum and finally told her that I'm depressed, that I can't handle, college and life in general. Next day I went to the doctor's, I am being assessed for anti-depressants, and my dad is getting me a private counsellor. I quit college, and am planning to get a job, and have some major me time, then hopefully if I save enough, I can go travelling and see the world.
I'm still far from okay, this is just the beginning of trying to be okay. My family now know that I'm not alright, and so do my friends. I don't know if this is going to save me. All I know is that carrying on as I was, was just insane. I was dreaming of suicide everday of my life.. and it was too much.
I still don't know if I'm going to get better.. I still don't know If I want too. I just know that I might be able to try.